by Jack O'Lanterni, President of Fake News International It’s shocking to think that President Donald Trump
and late night host Stephen Colbert may have colluded to plagiarize
the concept of The Fakies/Fake News Awards developed by Danny Murphy a year ago. And yet, the evidence is easy to find.
Note: This post is an example of satirical fake news. In a speech at the White House Rose Garden,
President Trump announced an executive order which will limit the number of
punchlines per minute by late-nite comedians. Holding up a pen, he said, “Barak
Obama once said he could get things done with a pen and a phone. Well, he left
a few of his pens behind, and let me tell you, they work very well.”
President Trump explained his rationale for his
new executive order. “The late-nite comedians are a disgrace. They’ve
weaponized sarcasm, irony, and mockery, and other tricks of their disgusting
trade. Night after night, they destroy the lives of Americans. The carnage has
increased over the past few decades, and especially since the beginning of my
term in office. These people are indiscriminate. They target innocent men,
women, and children with no regard for common decency whatsoever.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I tweeted weak and weary,
Over many vain and various tweets galore,
While I tweeted nearly sleeping, suddenly there came a pecking,
As of someone gently pecking, pecking my computer screen.
'Tis some follower, I muttered, pecking my computer screen.
Only this and nothing more.
I refreshed my browser screen, when with many a chirp and tweet,
Out there flew a tweeting birdie, from inside my browser screen.
The birdie perched upon my shoulder and in my ear began to tweet,
Perched, and tweeting, and nothing more.
"Birdie," said I, "thou demonic thing,
Take thyself from off my shoulder and take thy beak from out my heart.
Leave this place and fly back, back to my computer screen."
Quoth the birdie, "Nevermore."
And the birdie, never sleeping,
Still is tweeting, still is tweeting,
Tweeting till forevermore.
Note: This piece borrows heavily from Edgar Allen Poe's poem The Raven, a literary masterpiece which is in the public domain.
The President is tweeting, is tweeting, is tweeting...
When the President has trouble sleeping, He frequently turns to tweeting. Sometimes he'll tweet till the morning, And change policies with no warning. You might say it's his style of leading.
Over a hundred years ago, Rev. W.L. Watkinson preached a sermon titled The Invincible Strategy. In it, he said, “It is far better to light the candle than to curse the darkness.” These days people prefer to light Molotov cocktails and other incendiary devices.
True Story! Alex Jones of Infowars apologizes for defaming Chobani, LLC.
In April, Alex Jones of Infowars published a tweet and a
video with the headline, “Idaho Yogurt Maker Caught Importing Migrant Rapists.”
The company was Chobani. The story, which was shared widely, was not true. Chobani
sued. Mr. Jones apologized.
“During the week of April 10,
2017, certain statements were made on the InfowarsTwitter feed
and YouTube channel regarding Chobani, LLC that I now understand to be wrong.
The tweets and video have now been retracted and will not be reposted. On
behalf of Infowars, I regret that we mischaracterized Chobani, its employees
and the people of Twin Falls, Idaho the way we did.”
The video below features a rant from Mr. Jones followed by his apology.
I urge readers and viewers to think twice before sharing
provocative “news” from outlets like Infowars.
One of President
Trump’s most consistent targets throughout the election season was the media in
general and fake news in particular. It was a big part of Trump’s schtick. Since
his inauguration, he has continued his criticisms. Why would he stop doing what
has worked so well for him? President Trump recently called fake news the “enemy
of the people.” President Trump clearly believes that journalists who produce unfavorable
coverage should be treated as enemies.
Trump’s
dislike for the media is understandable. Many in the media clearly detest Trump
and it’s obvious. Most of the media were way off in their polling and their prognostications
about the election. They said, over, and over, and over that he didn’t stand a
chance. More recently, the infamous dossier that was published by Buzzfeed hasn’t
resulted in any big stories so far.
CNN and the New York Times were shut out of a recent press briefing with White House Press
Secretary Sean Spicer. One wonders what will happen next. Will the practice of excluding
critical media increase? Will media organizations try to be nicer in order to
avoid being excluded? Will someone – perhaps Jimmy Carter – step up to help
Trump and the media negotiate for a lasting peace?
Trump Declares War on Fake New: Producers of
Fake News head for their bunkers.
Note: The top part of this post is an example of satirical fake news. In a surprising and unprecedented move, President Trump has banned the importation of chocolate from seven chocolate producing nations. "The chocolate from these seven countries shouldn't even be called chocolate. It's disgraceful stuff," Trump said. "We don't need to import the bad chocolate that's coming out of those countries. Hershey's makes terrific chocolate and they make it right here in the U.S.A. and they get their cocoa from Hawaii. They also have a terrific theme park and I encourage Americans from all over the country to visit it. There's no place like it anywhere. The streets are paved in chocolate, and you're not going to find that anywhere else in the world. I love the place and I love Hershey's chocolate. It's really terrific chocolate."
