President Trump Signs Executive Order To Reduce Verbal Violence By Late-nite Comedians

Note: This post is an example of satirical fake news. 

In a speech at the White House Rose Garden, President Trump announced an executive order which will limit the number of punchlines per minute by late-nite comedians. Holding up a pen, he said, “Barak Obama once said he could get things done with a pen and a phone. Well, he left a few of his pens behind, and let me tell you, they work very well.”

President Trump explained his rationale for his new executive order. “The late-nite comedians are a disgrace. They’ve weaponized sarcasm, irony, and mockery, and other tricks of their disgusting trade. Night after night, they destroy the lives of Americans. The carnage has increased over the past few decades, and especially since the beginning of my term in office. These people are indiscriminate. They target innocent men, women, and children with no regard for common decency whatsoever.

The Irish, Alcohol, St. Patrick's Day, and Fake News

St. Patrick’s Day is coming up. Inevitably, we’ll be hearing lots of nasty jokes about drunken Irish alcoholics. Using stereotypes for jokes is a terrible idea. Stereotypes are like cross-cultural fake news! It’s so unfair to lump a group of people together and make fun of them just because of where they or their ancestors came from. 

For example, there are many people of Irish ancestry who don’t abuse alcohol at all. Many prefer to pop pills or smoke dope. They might partake of legal drugs when they can get a prescription for painkillers or sedatives, or illegal drugs when they can’t.