Sunday, December 18, 2016

Santa Claus may cancel deliveries due to drone traffic!

Since the 1960s, when Rudolph began lighting the way, there has never been any talk of shutting down Santa’s delivery runs. However, new issues have come up which may force the cancellation of Christmas. The air traffic from holiday delivery drones has been building for several years, and an insider at the North Pole says a shutdown by Santa may be imminent because of it.

“The reindeer like to work and none of them have ever complained, formally, about extra shifts through the holidays. However, all of the reindeer are concerned about safety,” said the insider. “There is talk of forming a union. The reindeer want to be sure they’ll get back to their families, and they want their safety concerns addressed by upper management.

"Santa Claus, LLC, is very concerned about competition from holiday delivery drones. Another issue is the liability, aside from the possible death and/or dismemberment of the reindeer, associated with delivery operations. The organization’s insurance rates have skyrocketed and they now have to get a special policy to travel outside the Arctic Circle.”


One red-nosed reindeer, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said, “I was really looking forward to making the deliveries this year. Amazon, FEDEX, and others have cut into our business but we're still very competitive. We’ve retrofitted our lighting systems with LEDs to reduce our carbon hoofprint along with our energy consumption. The technology is amazing and the testing has gone well. It will be a shame if we can’t make the actual run. On the other hand, I’m as concerned about safety as any other reindeer. The substandard wages and the lack of healthcare benefits are also a problem, especially for reindeer with children.”

The above story is satire. 


More stories about Santa Claus
Recently there was a viral story about a Santa Claus who, according to him, had a little boy die in his arms after he gave the lad a present. The story was heart-warming, heart-breaking, and could not be verified by the Knoxville News Sentinel.
Here’s a link to another fake news story that’s making the rounds.
Here’s one from last year. The scam probably goes back further.
This one has apparently been going on for years.
Here’s a link to an authoritative look at the legend of Santa Claus from The History Channel.

No comments:

Post a Comment